How we got here

After I graduated from college and went through the period where one is expected to get married, I was still willingly and happily single. Being single allowed me to see bands when I wanted to, go to the grocery when I wanted, clean my house (if I felt like it) when I wanted. Hell, I could watch reruns of football games on the Sunshine Channel if I wanted to. I had seen the Dead 160 times and was nearing 100 shows with DMB. I still don't get why I moved to them, but that is for another post.

So, I was living in Northern Kentucky, going to law school, and was outside the law library talking to someone. A day like any other. But today was different because I met her. We didn't talk for a week or so, but eventually we talked and things got serious, quickly. She had no taste in music and didn't care about music. She liked movies and had a real love for the silver screen. But, I mean, how can you not like music or have any taste in music? I don't get it. I tried to introduce her to all kinds of music, just to see if something stuck.

We fell in love and got married three years later. She has two kids from her previous marriage and I am very close with the kids. They call me "Daddy" and they are so young that they always remember me in their lives. I have turned them on to lots of music. They fall asleep to either Knoxville or Shoreline from last summer. Our 4 year old is begging me to take her to Deer Creek. I can't do it. It is unfair to her older sister, who would not do well at an outdoor concert, or any concert for that matter.

My wife and I got married in November 2009. Our song was "Waste" (Clifford Ball acoustic version) and not a lot of folks knew the song or understood why we chose it. But, in that moment, I felt like no one else was in the room. I was lost in her eyes and recollecting the ten or eleven times we had watched Clifford Ball. It was such a great show and the DVD really brings it alive. I wish the band would release the other ones they recorded. Anyway, this is the story of how we arrived at "Waste" as our song.

When the band announced that it was playing Hampton March 6, 7, 8, 2009, my friends and I ordered tickets. No one got them but me. My brother, who was my main travelling companion, and I were all set to go. He had to bail at the last minute because of work. I had no one to go with. I didn't think Eliz would like it, but she insisted that we would have a great time. I took her. She drove a lot of the way. We got down there and it was madness. People were doing anything to get a ticket. A girl offered someone $800 for a ticket and he said he wouldn't take it. We were down in about the third row on the first night. I had known a lot of Phish, but made the decision in 1993 that I was more into the Dead and gave up on Phish. I never understood some of their songs, like they were inside jokes and I was not in on it. Take "Weigh," for example, I don't like it. But, I had a renewed sense of vigor while driving down to Hampton. I had downloaded a bunch of stuff to listen to on our long car ride. But, still I didn't know all of their songs, nor could I predict them, like I used to do at Dead shows or DMB shows.

So, at the first note of "Fluffhead," I was in another dimension. I hadn't seen them since 1993 but seen TAB a number of times. The weekend of shows was like nothing I can remember. I stopped seeing the Dead in 1992 because the music lost its way and the scene sucked. Phish cared how they sounded. They were on fire all weekend. I got all of the jokes and the music filled up that void in me. I was hooked after "The Divided Sky." It didn't stop after Hampton either. Eliz told me that she had found a band and finally understood what I meant about music. She listened to shows in the car, asked the band's names, everything. We got tickets to shows and went to a lot. We had a blast.
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Eliz had been having double vision and mini-TIAs and we were really worried about her. She went to my family doctor and she recommended that Eliz get a bunch of tests and stop taking birth control. That was at the beginning of September. She was pregnant two weeks later. She was 28 and I was 44. This would be my first child. We had names already picked out if it was a girl or boy, but we had not planned this pregnancy so soon. Regardless, I was so excited, but I kept it to myself. I am kind of private about my feelings and I was so unsure about this. We couldn't wait to find out the sex of the baby. When we found out it was a boy, I must say that I was really happy. After all, the house had three girls already. As my wife grew, the baby began to kick more. She is convinced that he is going to be a kicker for the Michigan Wolverines and play for my Minnesota Vikings. No way, we are small nice Jewish guys. My family is not big. But, Elijah kicks like crazy. His middle name is Hendricks, which is my middle name also and is a long-standing family tradition for first-born on my mom's side. Elijah Hendricks. We will call him Eli.

Ok, so we know that a baby is going to forever change our lives. We know this. We are responsible parents and do everything to look out for our kids. My wife works hard at her job and I am taking care of the girls now, but that will soon change. Anyway, when we knew that our baby was due in late May, early June, we also knew that Summer Tour was going to be announced soon. It was my wife's idea to take the baby to shows with us. She will be on maternity leave and I am flexible. At first it was our little joke, but as time got closer, she was on board. We began to plan things and were unsure if we could do Chicago and Cleveland, but those are still options. We are starting at Hartford and going through Canadaigua. We looked into ear protection and got a Maya wrap to hold little Eli. People think we are nuts. I still haven't told my mom. She will have a tough time with it. I got in a lot of drug trouble with the Dead and she thinks concerts are a waste of money. We got Eli a "MELT" onesie from the Phish store and are going to watch out for him. I posted thoughts on Phantasy Tour and people ripped on me so bad that the post got taken down. You may have anger towards me or curiostty, or you may be interested in how we handle it. Who knows. I would just be honored if you read it. So, this is how we got here. I hope that I gave enough detail to explain the purpose of the blog and about myself and my family to make it interesting. I will tell more as things unfold. My oldest daughter is in 1st grade and my youngest is in pre-school. Oh, also we are looking to move before the end of June into a new house that we are buying but haven't found yet.

My posts will not be this long or self-indulgent, but I wanted to give some background. More later.